I looked it up on Google (occurs 6 times in 50 Shades), and I’m right. I’m not a medical doctor, but I’m pretty sure “sex” isn’t a body part. He blows gently up the length of my sex (141). This is what I saw when my eye first fell on the page. I’m afraid the experiment doesn’t start well. Meanwhile, here is my “random inspiration” list. I’ve decided to leave out the naughty bits-you can look it up on Wikipedia if you want more description about things that might be described in an erotic novel (by the way, “Wikipedia” occurs twice). So here are a few quotations I pulled almost at random. In the spirit of my book-giver-I’ve kept her anonymous so she doesn’t lose all literary credibility-and the sarcasta-reviewer quoted above, I thought I would do my own open book experiment.
Fortunately, “medulla oblongata” and “yucky” are only used once, but the tall, dark, handsome stranger is thrice described as “yummy” (or “delicious” another three times). We see this depth also from the frequent use of “Subconscious” (82 occurrences). In an erotic novel it isn’t astounding that “lips” is popular (71 times), but “Inner goddess” is surprisingly common (58)-betraying what must be a deep, feminist book. On every second page the character murmurs (207) or whispers (199), and they occasionally mutter (51). “Crap” (101) ,“Holy ” (172), or “Jeez” (82) are the most popular curse words, and “Gasp(s)” (45), “Whoa” (13), or “Sharp Intake of Breath” (4) are key to the characters’ respiratory regimes. “Oh My!” is popular with 79 occurrences, not surprising given the content, I suppose.
One edgy reviewer took the time to count the repetitive, mind-numbing phrases. My friend suggested the book was filled with this kind of bad writing.Īpparently others agree. That’s lots of contractions, isn’t it? The awkward string of infantile descriptions made my own medulla oblongata cease to function for a while. Vaguely, I’m aware that I’m still in my sweats, unshowered, yucky, and he’s just gloriously yummy, his pants doing that hanging from the hips thing, and what’s more, he’s here in my bedroom….įinally, my medulla oblongata recalls its purpose. As an example, she sent me this excerpt which she chose at random: The reason my friend was too embarrassed to return the book, though, was not because of its erotic content. I convinced her to give me the book, and now I own a copy of the fastest selling softcover book ever. Quickly she knew it was not her kind of book, so she threw it away-too embarrassed to sell it or return it. She bought the book, knowing little about it, and decided to give it a read. I got my copy because one of these Earth women felt that a single copy was, indeed, one too many. According to statistics, every woman on Earth has two copies, so it is worth paying attention to the phenomenon.
50 SHADES OF GREY EXCERPT SERIES
It is hard not to notice this year’s bestseller: an erotic novel loosely conceived around the Twilight series until it found a voice of its own. As a writer and writing teacher, though, I try to keep my eyes open to what is happening in the book world. James’ Fifty Shades of Grey, for reasons that will become evident. Not even close.Īnd no, I haven’t read E.L. This blog covers a lot of areas-children’s writing, fantasy, myth, theology and philosophy-and Fifty Shades of Grey is none of those. I understand that this will strike regular readers as a bit of a departure.
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